Yamcha rules the universe
by Slightly disturbed
Summary: Yamcha is so cool, he rocks the school. Everyone adores him and he his a rich stud, with 2 ladies by his side. What happens, when someone grows a little too obsessed with him?


Yamcha rules the universe  
  
"Man I'm cool," Yamcha stated one day, as he sat in his enormous mansion, on his solid gold throne.  
  
"Hell yeah, Yamcha! Your the coolest EVER," Chi Chi, who was dressed in a tiny shirt and tight skirt cooed over the coolest stud ever, as she sat at his feet, fawning.  
  
"And you're the strongest and the hottest ever. I could have sex with you right now," Bulma groped at Yamchas crotch as she gazed adoringly at him from the other side of his feet, and Yamcha smiled, as he looked at her see-through top and hot pants.   
  
"Thanks ladies. I know all that already though, so before I have wild animal sex with you both, I order you too think up some better compliments," Yamcha seemed only mildly impressed, and he kicked the two girls roughly away. The two girls burst into to tears, and said in unison, "We failed you, our love! But we will improve our worthless selves, we promise."  
  
Yamcha smiled at their performed grovelling, before stripping down naked and going to lie down on his bed. "Hey Bulma, come and give me some loving baby," he yelled, shutting his eyes in eager anticipation. However, Bulma had already left the sexy brute to improve her worthless self. It was Tien who heard him.   
  
Tien smiled greedily as he approached the awesome as anything Yamcha, staring at the wonderfully cool heroes glistening penis. "Yum," he mumbled, his three freako eyes rolling around in his stupid head in excitement.   
  
Tien bent down and started to slide his pulsating, boil covered tongue over Yamchas super humanly, enormously, stupendously sized willy. Yamcha shook with delight, thrusting his hips upward, to encourage '''BULMA''' to take his member into '''HER''' mouth. Tien hooted with joy, in a '''FEMINEN''' way, and took Yamchas monstrous sized 40-inch penis into his mouth.   
  
Then, Tiens head began to bob up and down as he suckled Yamchas awesome penis, when the unexplained happened. Bulma came up behind Tien, ready to have raunchy animal sex with Yamcha, when she saw what was happening. Outraged, she kicked the stupid fucking three eyed spastic with the 1 millimetre penis in the head, causing Yamchas whale of a willy to lodge its self in Tiens throat, slowly choking him to his retarded death.   
  
Bulma pulled the ugly retarded ape faeces from super stud Yamchas throbbing will-will, and she kicked the great overlord in the nuts. "Fuck you too, hey! Your gay, and you've been leading me on, all this time! I'm going to marry Master Roshi, the second hottest stud in the universe," Bulma yelled in an outraged voice, leaving Yamcha alone.   
  
Yamcha, the totally sensitive, new age guy he was, began sobbing as though his eyes were two tank like penises, as he watched his love leave. Bulma was horrified to see that it was, in fact, urine coming from Yamchas fantastically cool tear ducts.   
  
"Freak," she yelled, leaving with Master Roshi, who began fondling her chest immediately.   
  
As the King of awesome and radical, Yamcha, lay on his back, he remembered that Chi Chi was still around. "Hey Chi Chi, my little penis leech, come in here and grope my member," Yamcha yelled, thrusting his perfect penis around in a mad fashion. Chi Chi entered, with a sombre look on her face.   
  
"Bulma told me about your secret fantasy for Tien. And to tell the truth, Yamcha, I don't want a guy who doesn't worship my vagina. If you want penis, go root Tiens three eyed, rotting corpse," as Chi Chi yelled this to the coolest ladies man ever, she grabbed the slimy, obese Yajirobes hand and took him to a closet, where he did her up the bum for 5 days.   
  
Yamcha whined, calling everyone in the castle to come and fondle his pee-pee. However, everyone decided he was too much of a cream puff wussy and they left him alone. Soon he was left with only the two horny freaks going at it in the closet and monkey penis Tiens corpse. "Hey, you cant win 'em all, I guess," Yamcha said to himself, picking up Tiens pale corpse and stripping it naked. He turned it over and began fucking it up the butt, pretending it was Master Roshi. He had always thought Master Roshi was hot.   
  
Yamcha lived with his Tien corpse in the mansion for the rest of his life, and somehow, the freaky Tien corpse fell pregnant, and gave birth to a mutated freak of a baby, Chiaotzu he was called. He suckled on his rotting corpse of a mother nipple, until blood started to come through and he drank away happily, with a proud Yamcha looking on. Yamcha wasn't cool anymore; he had earned the title of the biggest loser in the world of Dragonball Z. He was weak, stupid and virtually alone, yet he still said to himself everyday, with an 'I'm-too-awesome-its-unbelievable' smile on his face, "Man I'm cool!"  
  
Now, the moral of this story is NO Yamcha is NOT cool, and he will NEVER have a legion of people at his command. He will always be a weak try hard with a shrivelled penis. No matter how hard he tries to dream it up otherwise, it will always turn out this way. 


End file.
